The Lifeblood of Relationships
The Lifeblood of Relationships
Listening is the lifeblood for any interactions that you have, especially with the people you love.
But listening isn’t just staying quiet and thinking about what you want to say.
If you are working out what to say, you aren’t truly listening to what that someone is saying because you are just waiting for the opportunity to tell your story.
So how can you listen better? These are my 3️⃣ tidbits when it comes to getting better at listening:
1. Listen to what the other person has to say. Don’t interrupt or disagree in the early part of a conversation. One thing to keep at the front of your mind is non-judgmental validation. People do not want to be judged in what they are saying.
2. Intermittently, nod your head, and make brief acknowledging comments like “yes” and “uh-huh.” If there is a momentary pause in the conversation, ask questions that show you’ve been paying attention to what the other person has been saying.
3. This is the crux of it (and the test), repeat back the gist of what the other person said by clarifying. Confirm and summarise what you heard by saying,
a) "I think I heard you say…”
b) “Is that right?"
c) If the other person says, "No, it’s not right", ask them to "Tell me more.” and repeat a) and b) again.
d) If the other person says, "Yes,", it’s time to add your two cents.
There is research that says just asking someone to tell you more makes you more likeable and gets the other person to want to help you!
Thought Provoking Quotes on this week’s topic
Ernest Hemmingway
I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.
Peter Drucker
The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.
Further resources
https://aeon.co/essays/the-psychologist-carl-rogers-and-the-art-of-active-listening